“In middle adulthood, the challenge is to develop the capacity to focus on the generations that will follow…generativity…failure to resolve this stage will lead to feelings of stagnation, in that one has made no contribution to the world that will last after he or she is gone…” Erik Erikson, human development theorist
I think another distinguishing predisposition of Erikson’s “middle adulthood” is a healthy pondering on life-to-date. This may be because I am on the tail end of “middle” or maybe I am just a mature “middle”…..no matter. I think I would have been wise to engage in a bit more reflection in all stages of my adult life, but objective looking back for the purpose of moving forward well is hindered often by the blinding nature of our circumstances.
So, in looking at “life-to-date”, I want to waste no more time waiting for the right set of circumstances or the ‘perfect’ answer to offer clarity….In recent months I am as clear-headed as I have known myself to be concerning what resonates in me and what is deadening. Life direction seems to flow best when we follow what sings inside.
I am captivated when I paint. Nothing else matters….I forget to eat and my normal insistence on domestic order fades in a frightening manner. As much as I want and need to participate in this image creating, there is always a scratchy sense of egocentricity that calls me to a balance.
I find that balance in teaching. I think that at least a part of my “contribution” (as Erikson discusses) lies in this arena. Teaching is an outflow of what is contained inside …as an artist these are the infinite lessons learned and internalized from repeated attentiveness to light, shadow, color, form, and nuance.
The movie, Local Color, is an entertaining testament to this generativity (and regeneration) potential of teaching. It is the story of an accomplished elderly alcoholic artist whose life is given renewed meaning when he takes on a young and eager student…
But to say, “I teach art”, to me, approaches arrogance. I think that the gift I have to offer students is not my ability to grapple with perspective, or the human form, or the world of color and mixing, or design. Granted, I need to have a working knowledge of these and these need to be shared. But the gift lies in facilitating students to see and to do: Seeing and Doing.
Seeing was not something I learned in school directly. It was not taught straightforwardly (as per Frederick Franck—in a previous post). The seeing is something most “artists” do but seldom seem to articulate clearly to the one who needs to know--the student. Once the student begins to see rather than duplicate or perform for others---once the seeing is experienced in its purity, doing “art” is never the same.
The “doing” is a bit more pragmatic and less mystical, but no less essential. Doing art (without drudgery) is the child of attentive seeing. Doing becomes the joyful and sustained response to the epiphany of a new kind of seeing. This responsive doing, when exercised with a degree of diligence, produces a lively art that evolves in satisfying ways over time.
Done. I did not plan to post here until after Thanksgiving, but was busting after an elevating conversation with some student/friends today. I am looking forward to next semester.
